Tuesday, May 21, 2013

From Where I Stand: Community and Calling


Recently, I have been really thinking about what the term community actually means. It is a word that is thrown around quite a bit, especially in Christian circles. But what does community actually mean? What does true fellowship and acceptance look like?
            When I was searching for a Christian college, community was one aspect that I seriously considered. I wanted a school that had a “good” reputation for community. Looking back, it was such a subjective thing to be looking for. The summer after my freshman year, I wasn’t especially keen on coming back to IWU. I felt that there wasn’t a sense of community at the school, and I wanted to find better community somewhere else. However, I (finally) realized the truth:
The school wasn’t the problem. The lack of community here wasn’t the problem. I was.
I wasn’t putting myself out there. I wasn’t taking up opportunities to be in the community that God had placed me in, and so I blamed the school.
I am so thankful to say that two years after the end of my freshman year, I have found a tremendous community at school. IWU has become a home to me, and the small “insignificant” town of Marion, Indiana has left a huge impact on my heart.
This last semester was the hardest that I have experienced. It was a large struggle academically and emotionally, and I felt that my spiritual life was non-existent at times. However, I experienced the true meaning of community more than ever before at this time of my hardest struggle.
This semester, I felt so loved by the people God had placed in my life at this place. The encouragement was poured in, and God was using relationships to rebuild me. There were so many nights of laughter and joy with my roommate and housemates. There were coffee dates and lunch dates with dear friends. There were class projects that became fun by the company of others in them. There were office meetings with my professors, who have invested in my life. In this time of struggle, there was opportunity. There was love. There was fellowship. There was community.
Now, this didn’t come easily. There were so many times when I didn’t want to leave my room. There were days when I struggled to wake up with a good attitude, let alone be able to socialize well with others. However, God gave me the strength to keep going- and to put myself intentionally into community. To let people know how to pray for me. To make new friends and maintain relationships with old ones. To get to know professors who wanted to know me.
After this hard semester, I have been blessed with a three-week May Term. Through this, I have been able to experience campus life with a less academically-minded point of view. This time has helped me experience even more community. Through trips to the park, taking time to go out to coffee with a friend, maintaining new friendships, and even learning someone’s name. To be more intentional. God has certainly been teaching me a lesson in intentionality with community. And through this time, I have been blessed by others who have shown me God’s love through laughter and conversations and trust. I am so thankful for the community that I have found at IWU, and the friends that have been made (either through classes, res life, extra-curricular activities, etc). This is what life is about.
Through the love and encouragement I have received, I have been able to re-examine the gifts God has given me and hone in on what God wants me to do. When I came into school freshman year, I wanted to “change the world” and I wasn’t sure how. I have realistically revised my mind-set a bit. I am looking forward to aiding in God’s work through restoring marriages. Through rebuilding relationships in families. Through helping couples begin their marriages centered on Christ. Through research (yes- research!). I am so looking forward to the new journey that is ahead of me in the near future, and I am so blessed to continue to build my community at IWU, and be able to build new community where God leads me next.



“Don’t expect to change the world while you sit and watch it pass you by.”
 Life is beautiful, and the small aspects of life (and people) are wonderful, and such a blessing. Sometimes all you need is a new perspective, and it changes everything. And at times, you need help getting a new perspective. And that’s where community comes in.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A New Season In My Life

Lately, I have been quite intrigued by the idea of having different seasons in one's life, and I have decided that it's time to embark on a new one. I have realized that I have really been "slacking" regarding my relationship with God, and not truly caring or putting in much effort. It seems so silly, especially since being at a Christian University, I am surrounded by God everyday. But it sometimes becomes so routine that I realize I am being stagnant. I have realized that I am not growing with God, and it's impacting every area of my life. Including my emotions, relationships, school, and everything else that seems to come up. That being said, it is time to embark on a new journey. I will be truly taking some time to re-ignite my passion and love for God, and will be spending some time truly reflecting as I make some crucial decisions. About my summer, next semester, and other aspects of my life that I truly need to give to God.
I will be working on healing wounds that have been recently opened, and on realizing the love that comes from God. I desire to be loved and respected by others, and I need to take some time to love and respect myself.
Prayers as I embark on this journey would be appreciated, and I encourage you all to re-ignite your passion and your relationship with God.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

And yet another semester comes to a close...




Addictions Theory- countless pages of reading about the History of Addictions and Various Counseling Theories, tests galore, visits to AA meetings, and a 10 page capstone paper.

Inductive Bible Study- so many word studies, detailed observations, theological principles, historical-cultural studies, group projects, and to cap that all off, a Final Project that involved hours and hours in the library, and 25 pages of information on the book of Jonah. Never will I read that book the same.

Foundations of Early Childhood- getting to simply learn about the education of children, and the importance of things such as play. This was a “two-fer” class, because it has been useful information for future parenting, as well.

Child Development- getting to raise a Virtual Child (she didn’t turn out too hot- but that’s besides the point), getting to interview children for a project, and having a class filled with fun from start to finish

Theology- Oh how dear to my heart! Countless pages of reading, 4-mat reflections on so many different books, tests that were harder than anything I have experienced in my life, and an 80 page handbook to finish it off!

Boy, has it been a great semester!


This semester has been one of the biggest blessings, and such a large learning experience for me. If you were to ask me what my plans were for this semester in August, my answer would not be what ended up happening at all. During the summer, I couldn’t even fathom this point in my life. During this semester, I have seen myself grow in so many ways. Emotionally, mentally, and most of all, spiritually. Spiritually, I have learned to trust God so much more than I ever believed or imagined. I have always known that trusting God was something I needed to grow in, and I believe I still do, but God really does show you how to trust Him when you have no strength of your own- which did occur this semester! This semester was filled with some of the worst days of my entire life, as well as some of the best. Filled with laughter that made me cry, as well as tears of sadness. I have had days where I feel that I have no hope, and I have had days that I feel my hope is overflowing. I have never felt so broken, yet so blessed. It’s funny- sometimes those moments of extreme broken-ness are really where you feel the most blessed- because those feelings of blessing come truly from God.

This semester, I have learned so much academically! I have never had to write so many papers, and spend so much time in the library in my entire life. Just these past few days, I logged in over 30 hours just in the library. Even though it has been the most stressful semester work-wise, it has most definitely been the most rewarding academically! I have never loved my classes so much. My heart yearns to learn about what I am learning about- I love children, and learning about them. I love psychology and counseling, and having the privilege of learning how to best help people in a therapy setting. And I completely and totally love Inductive Bible Study and Theology. More than I ever thought imaginable. I feel that my brain seeks out those subjects, and thrives with that information.

I have my last finals tomorrow (or should I say today!), just Foundations. And IBS, but we are just going in to get an assignment. But, I am feeling quite nostalgic. I think I may cry when Inductive Bible Study is officially over. I have loved that class more than I ever thought I would. It’s not only the subject matter- it’s our professor- who is so funny, caring, and vulnerable—it’s the people in the class- thank you youth ministry majors for keeping class so entertaining!- and it’s especially three special girls who have helped me through this semester more than they can imagine!

I know for a fact that God has a plan for my life- and that by seeking Him out, I will begin to glimpse what that plan is. However, for right now, it truly is one step at a time. Why worry about things years or months in advance? I have been given today, and for that I am grateful. What I choose to do with it is up to me. Will I rejoice, and be thankful, and glorify God with my words, thoughts, and deeds? Or will I choose to focus on myself, and not bring God glory?
That is the fundamental question we all should be asking…

A few months ago, I couldn’t imagine myself here doing what I am doing now, but at this point in my life, I can’t imagine what my life would’ve been like without these past few months. The classwork, the trials (yes-the trials), and the people (friends who stick by me no matter what, professors who truly care, and friends who simply make going to class such an enjoyable experience). I am so thankful for what God is doing in my life, and what He will continue to do. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Almost an entire semester has passed...


Well, so much for blogging more often ;)
If I were to try and sum up these past few months in a few paragraphs, I couldn’t even begin to do it. So I will just try with some highlights:

Attended AA meetings for a class, and developed a passion for those individuals.

Went on a tour with Wind Ensemble, and was more blessed with music and words of fellow classmates than I ever thought I would be.

Learned that I love theology more than I ever thought I would. Who knew so much more in Christianity would make so much sense?

Have learned to develop my passions, and see that God can use them in any situation. I CAN still be a missionary without being a teacher, and maybe that’s where my life is going.

Spoke at a youth group that isn’t my wonderful home youth group, and even though I was anxious beyond belief, I did love it, and had a great experience! Writing sermons are fun.

Teaching pre-schoolers Sunday school can be more fun than ever imagined, and more chaotic at the same time.

I have been so blessed by the students in my UNV-180 class. Freshmen are amazing people. I love being able to love them, and help in any way possible.

I have learned that a good laugh with some great friends can heal almost any wound.

Having a mentor is such a blessing. Thank you Rachel! For everything. Even though we were “set up” by IWU last year, and it was required, you have become one of my dearest friends. Thank you!

There are always more songs to listen to. Always. And country music is actually pretty good.

Driving amongst cornfields is surprisingly comforting and peaceful.

Love God. Love People. Go.-That really is all there is in life.

Do something spontaneous at least once a week-it makes life so much more entertaining and rewarding.

A group of students in my Inductive Bible Study class have become such good friends, even simply to see around campus. Thanks girls.
Who knew there was so much to study in the Bible?

Word studies are ridiculous.

Nature is seriously breathtaking. Thank you God.

I want a tattoo. Agape, on my left wrist. Agape is one of the most beautiful words of all time.

Closure in any situation is so important.

God’s timing is the best. And His plans. Even when I don’t want what He wants.

I need to learn to protect my heart more than I do, and to not be so sensitive. It doesn’t help anyone.

I miss home a lot. I’m so blessed to have the greatest support system.
And I’m coming home!!!!!!!!!

Can’t wait!
Tomorrow!

That’s all for now.
:) 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Sometimes Papers Reveal More...

I am going to try and blog more this semester. I promise!
I was writing a paper for Theology on the Book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, and wanted to share one paragraph of that paper with you all:
"Christianity is telling us about another world, and theology is a practical map to that. As humans, we may be like God in certain ways, but not things of the same kind. God is in one nature but has three distinct persons inseparable, but yet still one. The purpose of life, why we exist, is to be taken into the life of God, and the most accurate instrument for learning about God is the Christian community. In regards to time, God is not in Time, He has no history, it is always the present for Him, and He can see ahead. God is always acting through us, and the spirit of His love is a love going on between the Father and the Son. If we let God have His way, we can come to share in the life of Christ, and we can have joy, power, peace, and eternal life. Individuals are not really separate from God any more than they are separate from one another, and we can become a son of God through Christ dying for our sins. Each individual in the Christian community is different from one another, and able to contribute different things to the world that no one else could. Once we realize who we are in Christ, we become alarmed not only about what we do, but who we are in the world. There are things your conscience might not call wrong that you will realize you are doing wrong if you are trying to be like Christ. We need to hand our whole self over to Christ. God is only satisfied with nothing less than absolute perfection, but we have to make the first effort. He knows that our efforts will not bring us anywhere close to perfection, but He will not be satisfied with us being “ordinary people”, and He is going to make us into people who can obey His command to be perfect, and those who put themselves in His hands will become perfect, as He is perfect. Once one offers their life completely to God, then it is only then that it begins to really be his own. It is not an improvement, but instead, a transformation. You will not have a real self until you have given up yourself to Him."


   

Monday, August 22, 2011

Patience

I haven't blogged in a while, and my last post was a bit dis-heartening, so here goes another post :)

Last night, I was waiting to be picked up after work. While I was waiting, a woman came to wait for a taxi. She was asking everyone around if she was in the right place to meet a taxi, and even though nobody had an exact answer for her, she decided to wait there for the taxi. After just a few minutes of waiting, she decided to just get up and walk through the rain without an umbrella to get to her destination, instead of waiting for a taxi. Five minutes after she left, a taxi came right where she HAD been waiting. This experience that I witnessed got me thinking. How many times is this us? How many times are we waiting for something from God, or waiting for something that we want or need, and we become impatient, and decide to take our own way? How many times do we go out into the rain without an umbrella, instead of waiting for God to bring a "taxi" to us to get us to our destination?
I feel that this is how I act sometimes. I am so impatient, and I want God to reveal His plans right now, instead of enjoying the journey. Sometimes I think too much about other people, and their opinions. However, I thank God for the people in my life that offer advice and wisdom. But, I just think that I tend to sometimes go out into the rain without an umbrella, instead of waiting patiently for God, and for Him to guide and lead me. I know that I am waiting for God to reveal many things to me right now, but I am learning to love the moments of uncertainty, the moments that I am "waiting for a taxi". I challenge you to do the same.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

"It's OK to be a Mess"

Right now, I feel that my life is a mess. But through it all, God is showing me to focus on Him. 
I am dealing with issues with good friends, that shows how I need to work on my temper, and really work on being able to forgive and not hold grudges, which has always been a fatal flaw of mine. Guys, I truly am so sorry. I still am unsure of where I am going to go to school next year, and finances are scaring me. How am I going to pay for school? I am dealing with things going on in my family. I am dealing with bouts of depression, that I can't let affect all other aspects of my life. I'm so scared for my future, honestly. I am dealing with having to give up my life in high school, and accept that I have a full life ahead of me in college and beyond, which is challenging. However, I don't want to just be complaining about my life in this post. In contrast, I want to show that God is faithful through EVERYTHING. 
God is helping me sincerely accept my call to ministry-specifically youth ministry, and not keep waffling if it's really for me. Ever since last semester, I have realized that youth ministry brings me such joy and peace, and that I love every aspect of it, the organization part, the "preaching", the counseling, even the conflict part. I just want to be able to pour out my life to youth, and I feel that youth ministry is what God is really calling me to do. However, recently, I have let myself question and doubt. But, it's the one thing I can't imagine myself not doing. I am so thankful to my home church youth pastor Jon, who has given me so many opportunities to work on youth ministry things, and has opened a door into what youth ministry really is. Jon really has shown me what a youth pastor should be doing, and through his example, he has so positively affected my life, as well as so many others.  I am also so thankful for my practicum church youth pastor Tony Bye, who really helped to confirm a call I already felt. He was able to push me completely out of my comfort zone, and he helped me to see how I have abilities I never thought I had. He helped me to see how women CAN be in ministry, and I am so grateful for his constant encouragement. Through his example, I have seen what a healthy and growing youth group should look like, and he has given me so many ideas of what to do in youth ministry. 
Through all of this, I have seen that trusting God is really the only constant in life, and that I just have to truly trust Him with my entire life, every aspect. It's the conversations with good friends, the reassurance from God through the words of those who truly care about me that help lead me back to God. 
Anything that you are going through, God is going to carry your burdens, ALL OF THEM, if you let Him. Right now, I feel that I have been handed many "stones" instead of "loaves of bread", but many of these are helping my spiritual growth. And through this, I can help others in their spiritual lives. 

Romans 8:28- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

Philippians 1:6- "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."